I wish Amanda were here to make everything better. They sit with me and suggest foods that are safe until I can eat and are exactly what I need them to be when I need them to be it and I just need them a lot I wish money didn’t exist And anxiety And people talking And I’m really angry at myself because I wasn’t able to put this fire out before it got so bad ugh
donttellmeimnotworthit: fakehighschoolboyfriend: a musical entitled “may, senior year” filled with hits such as: “i never knew you wanted to join the military” “why are you getting married” “that’s an awful tattoo” “what am i doing for the rest of my life” “how will i afford deodorant in college” “why can’t i graduate already” “why can’t i graduate already (reprise): why am i graduating...
doctortveit: doctortveit: darrencrississuchagoober: doctortveit: I WAS DOING MY TRIG HOMEWORK LAST NIGHT AND I WAS REALLY TIRED SO I DECIDED TO CHECK OVER MY WORK JUST NOW AND THIS IS WHAT I FOUND OH MY FUCKING GOD I HAVE A HABIT OF PRONOUNCING EVERYTHING AS THE WAY THEY LOOK INSTEAD OF WHAT THEY’RE ACTUALLY CALLED OKAY WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE WITH SEX MINUS ONE WHEN YOU’RE TIRED AND...
thisbrunetteslife: In Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, all of the students Professor McGonagall is teaching to dance are Gryffindors. Which means, Hufflepuffs would be taught by Professor Sprout, Flitwick would be teaching the Ravenclaws, and guess who the Slytherins get to waltz with? “Put ………you hand …………….on ……..my …………….waist.”
teppelin: have you ever had a game you wanted to replay but then there’s just one part that you fcking HATE and it’s just not worth it
tessaviolet: azulaang: older-aang: theinvisiblemonsters: abukkitofcelestialintent: do people actually stand in front of a microphone for hours making weird gibberish sounds for them to use in the sims games because if so then i need to see this happen at least once in my lifetime if not more well you’re in luck then THAT. LAUGH. Katie Perry was also one those fools too this is...
romulusthread: MY MATH TEACHER SAW ME TEXTING AND MADE ME STAND IN FRONT OF THE ROOM AND HE TOLD ME TO READ THE TEXTS BUT I WOULNT SO HE TOOK MY PHONE AND READ THE LAST THREE ON THERE OUT LOUD AND THE FIRST ONE WAS “IM HUNGRY” AND MY FRIEND REPLIED WITH “HUNGRY FOR SEMEN” AND I SAID “TRUE THOUGH” IMGONNA JUMP OFF A BUILDING
rabioheab: i can’t wait until the days when we’re all old and the stereotype is that old people like rap and dubstep
partybarackisinthehousetonight: i imagine adulthood to be like one of those “choose your own adventure” books except each choice is terrible
vriska-ler: “women aren’t allowed to—” “women shouldn’t/can’t ___ because periods” “men are biologically better than women at—” “only men can/should—” “it’s not ladylike to—” “you’re not a real woman if you don’t—” “men are dominant and superior—” “women have to—” “she’s a slut/whore/trashy woman because she likes to have sex” “she asked for it/it was her fault for—” ...
broternia: i was just out taking a walk and some woman slowly stopped her car next to me and she was all like “excuse me” and i was freakin out like oh my god she’s going to kill me or ask for directions or something, my life is over, and she was like “take this” and she handed me a 10 dollar bill and she was like “get yourself a haircut so you can get a job you fucking hippie” i’m laaughing so...
leonardsmccoy: she wears short skirts, i wear blue shirts, she’s cheer captain and damnit jim, i’m a doctor
Writings for Winter: how to lie when someone asks... →
writingsforwinter: Tonight I can smell her on you like a talisman, a nametag, a grave marker. I wonder if she kissed your birthmark, the dark red splotch hidden on your inner thigh like a sunrise that jumped forty feet from an apartment building just to splatter into nothingness on the pavement below. I wonder
andrewpauldost: i just saw a post like “kids these days dont even know what a vhs is” like why do people think kids of modern day dont know about past events like i know what fucking morse code is but i dont use it to order a pizza
tupacabra: when my mom was pregnant she would put a walkman up to her stomach and play cher’s greatest hits and she apologizes for it every day because she thinks that’s what made me gay
fandom-monster: mybrainisallovertheplace: lorasueee082011: aplacecalledorange: I think we should all celebrate by taking a moment to appreciate Robert Pattinson’s attitude and I’m laughing so much right now. JUST ALL THAT HE IS. I mean LOOK Robert Pattinson’s ‘Twilight’ commentary. I just I’m going to miss this Who would have thought he hated...
hungarian: it’d be cool to speak like 20 different languages & keep it a secret from everyone & then during a time of crisis, u could speak some fluent russian to some russian guy holding a gun to your head & all your friends will be like daaamn
thebookofthebraindead: Mythbusters is such a good show I mean it’s GLORIFYING SCIENCE AND CURIOSITY AND SHOWCASING HOW FUCKING COOL LIFE IS AND TESTING THINGS YOU TAKE AS TRUE AND TREATING EVERYTHING AS A CHALLENGE THAT CAN BE SOLVED IF YOU TRY HARD ENOUGH AND APPLY YOUR KNOWLEDGE AND THEY ARE SO EXCITED ABOUT THEIR JOBS AND THEY INJECT HUMOUR INTO IT AND EXPLAIN ALL OF THE SCIENCE THEY DO like...
i made a new friend on the plane
niggaimdeadass: dis us this us actin crazy smooches to u hataz ewwww y’all ugly dis us sleep of course we cute we black